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February 05, 2005

2005 Tiger Woods Predictions

Here's the 10 predictions that I, No Three Putts, know will happen in the world of Tiger:

1. Tiger will miss a cut, twice.
2. Tiger will admit his Nike clubs suck and join Phil at Callaway.
3. Tiger will not win a major again this year.
4. Elin will become pregnant. Another perfect excuse for poor play.
5. Tiger is baffled as to how Elin became pregnant, they haven't had sex yet.
6. Tiger and caddie Steve Williams go public about their love for one another.
7. Pimp Daddy Vijay Singh admits he's the father of Elin's baby.
8. Tiger and Steve break up. Tiger gets a new caddie.
9. Tiger admits that Buick makes crappy old man cars.
10. Butch Harmon is back.

We'll see just how good I am at making predictions. I don't think Dionne Warwick has a thing on me.

36 comments:

Woods~&~Wedges said...

Stupid and not funny. Most of your stuff is good.

Erik @ The Sand Trap said...

Uhhhh....?

mediaguru @ HookedOnGolfBlog.com said...

1. Tiger makes cuts. That's what he's good at now.
2. Tiger will continue with his "inferior" clubs.... $20/mil year money talks.
3. Correct
4. Correct
5. Incorrect
6. Scary
7. A Stretch
8. Wouldn't be surprised
9. Money Talks
10. Not enough room on the same hemisphere for those big heads

Anonymous said...

When will anyone realize Tiger must be off his steroids? He must have been on steroids for a few years. I watch golf thinking ABT because I believe this.
nc

Anonymous said...

1. Tiger will miss a cut, twice.
2. Tiger will admit his Nike clubs suck and join Phil at Callaway.
3. Tiger will not win a major again this year.
4. Elin will become pregnant. Another perfect excuse for poor play.
5. Tiger is baffled as to how Elin became pregnant, they haven't had sex yet.
6. Tiger and caddie Steve Williams go public about their love for one another.
7. Pimp Daddy Vijay Singh admits he's the father of Elin's baby.
8. Tiger and Steve break up. Tiger gets a new caddie.
9. Tiger admits that Buick makes crappy old man cars.
10. Butch Harmon is back.


1.Tiger has made 120 stright, 121 including his win at the Masters
2.Nike clubs arent all that bad, but Callaway clubs suck ass.
3.Hes won the Masters with 3 left, can you say Grand Slam
4.Yea I think that shell get pregnant, but poor play my ass, look at his year so far.
5.Wrong only ur the type of dumbass that can think of something like that. Would be funny though.
6.After hearing something like that my life would be complete.
7.I would shit a Golden Brick
8.I think that theyll be fine, at least for this year.
9.True, but whats he getting payed from them, like 20 mil? He could but a car that flies with that kind of money.
10.Harmon dont no shit from his tounge I dont no what Tiger was thinking when he hired him in the first place

The Writer said...

How are the Nike irons inferior equipment? Especially when they're copies of the Titelist irons that he used to play. Please explain this to me.

Anonymous said...

tiger sucks...go ernie

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Anonymous said...

LMFAO!!! So how are those predictions workin' out for ya?

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Couch Potato said...

"Help me if you can I'm feeling down" - I also think I must be lost.

I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him on the golf course yesterday. Now this is strange because usually I see him in the supermarket.

Honest really, last time I saw him there he was right in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".

He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new lcd tv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.

But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a lcd tv .

Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger.

Then I'm gonna go home, put ma dancin' suit on, munch me some uppers and freak out to that maaaaaaaaad surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on ma lcd tv .

How cool is that boy?

And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

"You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on "

Strange day or what? :-)

Couch Potato said...

"Help me if you can I'm feeling down" - I also think I must be lost.

I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him on the golf course yesterday. Now this is strange because usually I see him in the supermarket.

Honest really, last time I saw him there he was right in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".

He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new lcd tv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.

But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a lcd tv .

Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger.

Then I'm gonna go home, put ma dancin' suit on, munch me some uppers and freak out to that maaaaaaaaad surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on ma lcd tv .

How cool is that boy?

And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

"You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on "

Strange day or what? :-)

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