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October 22, 2004

Urinating on the golf course

Because men can whip it out and take a leak anywhere at anytime, does that make it OK to piss on the golf course? Although I'm a big fan of urinating when my bladder is full, I never piss on the golf course. Being somewhat paranoid of germs I can't imagine picking my ball up after completing a hole and then realizing it smelled like piss because some lazy moron took a leak and my ball rolled through it.

So although I am not a supporter of pissing on the golf course, here's a story for you regarding this very subject: I was playing golf back in high school with my friend Jason at Portland Golf Club, in lovely Portland, CT. The group behind us hit into us on the first couple of holes. Of course, we gave them the finger and yelled knock it off. We had teed off on the par four 5th hole, you have to hit a blind drive down a very steep hill to the green, and we were walking to the green when the idiots behind us hit into us again. So we chip on, drop our putts and finish the hole. I start walking over to my bag and start talking to Jason, but he's not there. I turn around to look for him and I see him standing over the cup in the middle of the green taking a leak.

As Jason and I stood on the 6th tee waiting for these jackasses to pick their balls out of the cup on the 5th green, we nearly pissed our pants in laughter. I'll never forget that story and I'll never forget the fun Jason and I used to have playing golf together.

The next time the group behind you hits into your group please remember this story. No Three Putts says go ahead and take a leak.


Chris D. said...

I'd never thought about doing that but I will have to keep that in mind if I ever take up playing serious golf again (Hopefully that will be in the next 5 years!)!

TheDoubleEagle said...

I'll try to be more creative...when I golf with The Donald. heh heh

Couch Potato said...

"Help me if you can I'm feeling down" - I also think I must be lost.

I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him on the golf course yesterday. Now this is strange because usually I see him in the supermarket.

Honest really, last time I saw him there he was right in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".

He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new lcd tv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.

But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a lcd tv .

Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger.

Then I'm gonna go home, put ma dancin' suit on, munch me some uppers and freak out to that maaaaaaaaad surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on ma lcd tv .

How cool is that boy?

And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

"You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on "

Strange day or what? :-)

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