So I open the newspaper today and see an article on my man Phil Mickelson on the cover of the sports section, very nice. Although the title of the article sucked, "Confident Lefty Smiles way to top". What the hell is this about? His smile sure didn't make any birdies. Stupid title, but at least it's about Phil leading the US Open.
So I go to read the rest of the Phil Mickelson article and what do I see? A story in the golf section titled "Masters is now long shot for Wie". I had to do a double take. First off, who ever thought a 14 year old girl would be playing in the Masters anyway. Granted she's an excellent golfer, but my point is, this is the week of the US Open, who cares about any women's golf at all. Really, this is the week of the LPGA Shoprite Classic. As far as I'm concerned, they should be teaching young Ms. Wie and the other gals out there how to clip coupons and buy the proper food to make their men happy (although for 80% of these women I should say for their women, for you slow one's out there, yes, that is a lesbian reference). Honestly, what's the trophy look like for this tournament? You guessed it, a lovely crystal shopping cart. Fill mine up with ice cream, red meat, lots of cheese, chips and everything that would violate the stupid Atkins diet, give me the carbs baby.
In conclusion, the Masters is a year away, it is way to early to hear hype about Michelle Wie or any other female trying to play at the most sacred men's club in the country. Hootie, I'll bet you had the same panick attack I did. Don't worry brother, I'll keep these women in line.