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July 03, 2004

US golfers say "hell no we won't go" to British Open!

Led by rebel golfer Paul Stankowski many top US golfers intentionally skipped the qualifying round at Congressional CC for the British Open. Paul and several other golfers purposely missed their tee times as a form of protest to the lack of good food and cold beer served at Royal Troon. Instead of playing golf they were seen dancing all day and night at a local disco.

Paul Stankowski was also heard as saying something like "I once heard a guy with a British accent say to his girlfriend that my goatee looked stupid. And that really hurts, I put a lot of hard work into this thing."

British organizers of the event are flabbergasted by the lack of enthusiasm from US golfers to come overseas and play. Such tops names as James McLean, Todd Barranger, John Rollins, Patrick Moore, Kevin Na, and Dan Olsen are all part of what British organizers are calling the "Stinky Stanko Gang" who they believe are trying to ruin the British Open. One official said we'll get even with them, we may send them a mean letter and tell them how they hurt our feelings. Way to stick it to 'em there good chap.

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