The other day I was thinking about golf lingo. I said to myself, "self, why don't you think of some hip golf lingo." So being the hip cool guy that I am, I decided to come up with some golf lingo using celebrities names. Here's a few...
You hit the ball fat. Instead of saying "damn I hit that fat." Using No Three Putts golf lingo you'd say "damn that was a Rosie O'Donnell."
If you hit a horrible shot that is just ugly, that's a Tom Kite.
A shot that comes up short is a Danny Devito.
A great drive that you hit long and hard that's a Ron Jeremy.
You hit a ball really thin, but it still looks pretty damn good, that's a Paris Hilton. For those of you that saw her infamous video you could also use her name if you hit a shot that sucks.
You hit a great shot that is just killer, that's an O.J. Simpson.
If you hit a lot of hooks, you're obviously a hooker, instead I'd call you a Heidi Fleiss.
If you're playing with someone that cheats, he's a Martha Stewart.
When someone just totally chokes, instead of saying "ha you choked loser". Why not say "ha you did a David Beckham". I have still not forgiven the Brits for calling Todd Hamilton an obscure pub question.
You hit one in the bunker and it's hiding in the sand like a scared little girl, that shot would be a Saddam Hussein.
You play with someone that lays up instead of going for it like a man, he's an Elton John.
When a putt lips out, that's a Mick Jagger.
And for those of you that actually want to see a "real" list of golf lingo here's a fairly thorough one. Any of you out there that think you are funny, by all means please post a comment, I'd like to see this list grow.