I must apologize to my readers. I've haven't posted in a week and I'm not going to be posting again until after the New Year. I'm going to be in Vermont for about 5 days and then Connecticut for another 5 days. Ya-friggin-hoo! No Three Putts is getting a much needed vacation.
I've been very busy with my t-shirt business. Here's an article about the Who's Your Rabbi? venture.
Peace out y'all, be back next year!
December 19, 2004
December 11, 2004
Paula Creamer - the Real Deal
Paula Creamer is going to tear up the LPGA Tour next year. She easily destroyed the field at Q-School by 5 shots and she made the cut in the 6 LPGA events she entered this year. She even finished 2nd at the Shop-Rite LPGA Classic. Paula Creamer is going to make everyone forget Michelle Wie even exists. Go kick some ass Ms. Creamer.
December 09, 2004
Adam Scott says "Golf is Boring"
Adam Scott, currently ranked number 10 in the world, thinks that golf on TV is boring. Here's an interesting interview with Adam being frank. This is a good story from down under where golf ratings are going right down the toilet. Points are brought up about ways to liven golf up a bit. I say we should all go watch Happy Gilmore and see if we can come up with any ideas.
December 08, 2004
Nick Faldo has no Fanny
Fanny Sunesson has decided to stop schlepping Nick Faldo's bag. After over 13 years together Fanny Sunneson has gotten an offer with a player that might actually win a tournament, Sergio Garcia. It's hard to believe that Fanny is only 31 years old. It seems like she's been caddying for Faldo forever. She sure landed a good gig with Faldo when she was only 18.
Damn, Fanny has some arms!
Damn, Fanny has some arms!
December 07, 2004
Bill Murray Receives Mulligan
Bill Murray Takes A "Mulligan" Lifetime Achievement Award From SGA. (December 2, 2004 Austin, Texas) Avid golfer, comedian and Golden Globe winner Bill Murray has received the SortaGolf Association's inaugural David Mulligan Lifetime Achievement Award for his contributions to recreational golfer enjoyment.
Best known to golfers for his memorable role as Carl Spackler in Caddyshack (the greatest golf movie of all time) and for entertaining crowds at charity golf events too numerous to mention; Murray also authored "Cinderella Story: My Life in Golf" and is part owner of the Murray Bros. Caddy Shack golf bar & restaurant chain.
"Bill represents the true spirit of recreational golf and his contributions to the enjoyment of the game are a living legacy to SortaGolfers everywhere. We are proud to give him a 'Mulligan', our highest honor." stated SGA Commissioner Donn Glenn.
Murray is the first ever to be so recognized by the SGA.
The "Mulligan" Lifetime Achievement Award is named in honor of Canadian Golfer David Mulligan, the presumed inspiration for the term that bears his name. In the late 1920's David Mulligan played golf with a group of friends at the St. Lambert Country Club, outside Montreal. Being the only golfer with a car, Mulligan ended up driving everyone to the course. The drive took him over many rough roads and a really bumpy bridge found at the entrance to the course. Due the rough driving conditions, Mulligan's hands were in pretty bad shape by the time the trip was over. His "buddies" were nice enough to give him an extra drive off the first tee.
In recognition of Murray's accomplishments, all of SortaGolf's over 25,000+ members are encouraged to:
1. Watch Caddyshack within the next 30 days
2. Recite one of Murray's memorable Caddyshack lines during their next round of golf.
3. Play in a charity golf event next season
About the SGA:
The SGA (SortaGolf Association) is the governing body of SortaGolf. Headquartered in Austin, Texas and led by Commissioner Donn Glenn, the SGA is dedicated to improving the satisfaction of recreational golfers everywhere and championing the Sorta 7 Amendments to the USGA Rules of Golf.
Suggested Murray Caddyshack lines:
"It's in the cup"
"Cinderella story"
"I smell varmint poontang"
"You gotta pool?"
"Big hitter the Lama"
"So I've got that going for me, which is nice"
"It's no big deal"
"You're a tramp, that was a good one"
Best known to golfers for his memorable role as Carl Spackler in Caddyshack (the greatest golf movie of all time) and for entertaining crowds at charity golf events too numerous to mention; Murray also authored "Cinderella Story: My Life in Golf" and is part owner of the Murray Bros. Caddy Shack golf bar & restaurant chain.
"Bill represents the true spirit of recreational golf and his contributions to the enjoyment of the game are a living legacy to SortaGolfers everywhere. We are proud to give him a 'Mulligan', our highest honor." stated SGA Commissioner Donn Glenn.
Murray is the first ever to be so recognized by the SGA.
The "Mulligan" Lifetime Achievement Award is named in honor of Canadian Golfer David Mulligan, the presumed inspiration for the term that bears his name. In the late 1920's David Mulligan played golf with a group of friends at the St. Lambert Country Club, outside Montreal. Being the only golfer with a car, Mulligan ended up driving everyone to the course. The drive took him over many rough roads and a really bumpy bridge found at the entrance to the course. Due the rough driving conditions, Mulligan's hands were in pretty bad shape by the time the trip was over. His "buddies" were nice enough to give him an extra drive off the first tee.
In recognition of Murray's accomplishments, all of SortaGolf's over 25,000+ members are encouraged to:
1. Watch Caddyshack within the next 30 days
2. Recite one of Murray's memorable Caddyshack lines during their next round of golf.
3. Play in a charity golf event next season
About the SGA:
The SGA (SortaGolf Association) is the governing body of SortaGolf. Headquartered in Austin, Texas and led by Commissioner Donn Glenn, the SGA is dedicated to improving the satisfaction of recreational golfers everywhere and championing the Sorta 7 Amendments to the USGA Rules of Golf.
Suggested Murray Caddyshack lines:
"It's in the cup"
"Cinderella story"
"I smell varmint poontang"
"You gotta pool?"
"Big hitter the Lama"
"So I've got that going for me, which is nice"
"It's no big deal"
"You're a tramp, that was a good one"
December 06, 2004
Kitten with Her Sticks
Meow, Kitten with Her Sticks is a line of women's golf gear for women with a winning attitude.
Kitten with Her Sticks is also dedicated to women both on and off the course in the prevention of breast and ovarian cancer by donating five percent of all after tax profits towards funding for women who cannot financially afford screenings.
Kitten with Her Sticks is available in many pro shops throughout the country. Nice clothing, profits go to a good cause and good looking models, Kitten with Her Sticks will be a successful line of women's golf gear.
Kitten with Her Sticks is also dedicated to women both on and off the course in the prevention of breast and ovarian cancer by donating five percent of all after tax profits towards funding for women who cannot financially afford screenings.
Kitten with Her Sticks is available in many pro shops throughout the country. Nice clothing, profits go to a good cause and good looking models, Kitten with Her Sticks will be a successful line of women's golf gear.
December 05, 2004
18 Holes, Why?
Here's a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy:
Why do golf courses have 18 holes -- not 20, or 10, or an even dozen?
During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.
Why do golf courses have 18 holes -- not 20, or 10, or an even dozen?
During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.
December 04, 2004
PGA Changes Ryder Cup Criteria
You knew it wouldn't take long for the PGA of America to alter the criteria for qualifying to play in the Ryder Cup. After this years ass kicking changes had to be made. Obviously the changes will benefit the US Ryder Cup team and our chances of winning back the Cup.
Here's what I think would help the team the most:
1. Take away all player endorsements.
2. Lower the prize money in all tournaments.
Next, tell all of the greedy tour players that if they win the Ryder Cup all endorsements will be back and prize money will increase. The only incentive the US players care about is money. Let's take away the money, make them play the Ryder Cup with their greatest motivator as an incentive to win. This is the only way to make them play from their heart, like the Europeans.
Here's what I think would help the team the most:
1. Take away all player endorsements.
2. Lower the prize money in all tournaments.
Next, tell all of the greedy tour players that if they win the Ryder Cup all endorsements will be back and prize money will increase. The only incentive the US players care about is money. Let's take away the money, make them play the Ryder Cup with their greatest motivator as an incentive to win. This is the only way to make them play from their heart, like the Europeans.
December 03, 2004
Argus Hamilton
Every morning I read a blurb in the Palm Beach Post called the Morning Monologue. It's written by the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood, CA Argus Hamilton. His comments are usually about politics, current events, celebrities and sports. Yesterday Argus had a blurb about golf that I thought was amusing.
Here it is: Annika Sorenstam competed with the men in the Skins Game. Last year at the Colonial she broke the barrier and became the first woman to play in a PGA tournament. Somehow you knew the Jackie Robinson of golf would be a Swedish blonde.
Thanks Argus Hamilton for amusing me every morning.
Here it is: Annika Sorenstam competed with the men in the Skins Game. Last year at the Colonial she broke the barrier and became the first woman to play in a PGA tournament. Somehow you knew the Jackie Robinson of golf would be a Swedish blonde.
Thanks Argus Hamilton for amusing me every morning.
December 02, 2004
Office Depot Father/Son Challenge
Team Irwin will be defending their title at the Office Depot Father/Son Challenge this week at ChampionsGate Resort outside of Orlando. Although Team Irwin will put up a good fight, my money is on Team Stadler to win. Craig and Kevin both had a good year and with all of the good restaurants in the Orlando area they will both be in a good mood.
Let's not forget the incident that occurred at a buffet earlier this year when both Stadler's won on the same weekend.
Let's not forget the incident that occurred at a buffet earlier this year when both Stadler's won on the same weekend.
December 01, 2004
Bruce Devlin should shut up!
Bruce Devlin has some balls for criticizing Greg Norman about not playing in the Australian Open. Devlin called Norman selfish and said he does not help the sport of golf in Australia. Devlin also said Norman should do more publicly to thank Aussies who have supported him in the past.
Here's what Norman had to say, "Considering I've played the Australian Open 23 times in my career, I have supported the event as well as any other Australian professional."
Norman has not played in the Aussie Open, which happens to coincide with Thanksgiving, in 4 years. "It's my life and I like to spend time with my family. My children are in college in the U.S. The only time they come home are for long weekends like Thanksgiving."
When I think of Australia and golf the first thought that comes to mind is koala bears, but after that it's Greg Norman. Bruce Devlin you should shut up and not criticize the man that put Australian golf on the map.
Hopefully Greg will read this and invite me to play at his golf club up in Hobe Sound The Medalist.
Here's what Norman had to say, "Considering I've played the Australian Open 23 times in my career, I have supported the event as well as any other Australian professional."
Norman has not played in the Aussie Open, which happens to coincide with Thanksgiving, in 4 years. "It's my life and I like to spend time with my family. My children are in college in the U.S. The only time they come home are for long weekends like Thanksgiving."
When I think of Australia and golf the first thought that comes to mind is koala bears, but after that it's Greg Norman. Bruce Devlin you should shut up and not criticize the man that put Australian golf on the map.
Hopefully Greg will read this and invite me to play at his golf club up in Hobe Sound The Medalist.
November 30, 2004
Big Boobs Golf
Have you ever noticed that when you do a Google Images search for - Big Boobs Golf - only one picture appears?
That's right a search for Big Boobs Golf produces one and only one picture. Mr. Phil "Big Boobs Golf" Mickelson.
That's right a search for Big Boobs Golf produces one and only one picture. Mr. Phil "Big Boobs Golf" Mickelson.
November 29, 2004
My feet & Pearl Izumi
In the last week I've read two different golf magazines and both of them mentioned Pearl Izumi running shoes. Apparently Pearl Izumi sneakers are popular among tour caddies and some players as well. They made it into Golf Magazines Wish List for 2005.
These are the Push Plus model, they retail for $79.99.
I just might get a pair of Pearl Izumi's. Lately I've been into spoiling my feet with really comfortable shoes. I bought two pair of Johnston & Murphy shoes about 6 months ago and last month I got a pair of Puma sneakers. They are so damn comfortable.
I would definitely recommend these sneaks to anyone that wants to give their feet great pleasure. My feet say thank you everytime I put these on. It's amazing how little things like really comfortable shoes can make a guy happy.
These are the Push Plus model, they retail for $79.99.
I just might get a pair of Pearl Izumi's. Lately I've been into spoiling my feet with really comfortable shoes. I bought two pair of Johnston & Murphy shoes about 6 months ago and last month I got a pair of Puma sneakers. They are so damn comfortable.
I would definitely recommend these sneaks to anyone that wants to give their feet great pleasure. My feet say thank you everytime I put these on. It's amazing how little things like really comfortable shoes can make a guy happy.
November 28, 2004
More golf humor...
Two women are playing golf on a sunny afternoon when one of them slices her shot into a foursome of men.
To her horror, one of the men collapses in agony with both hands in his crotch. She runs to him apologizing profusely, explaining that she is a physical therapist and can help ease his pain.
"No thanks... just give me a few minutes... I'll be fine..." he replies quietly with his hands still between his legs.
Taking it upon herself to help the poor man, she gently undoes the front of his pant and starts massaging his genitals.
"Doesn't that feel better?" she asks.
"Well... yes... That feels pretty good," he admits. "But my thumb still hurts like hell!"
To her horror, one of the men collapses in agony with both hands in his crotch. She runs to him apologizing profusely, explaining that she is a physical therapist and can help ease his pain.
"No thanks... just give me a few minutes... I'll be fine..." he replies quietly with his hands still between his legs.
Taking it upon herself to help the poor man, she gently undoes the front of his pant and starts massaging his genitals.
"Doesn't that feel better?" she asks.
"Well... yes... That feels pretty good," he admits. "But my thumb still hurts like hell!"
November 27, 2004
Mobile Golf Course
So I got a spam email the other day from someone at Mobile Golf Course. I guess they got my email address from some bulletin board that I'm a member of. Regardless, I thought I'd take their little survey that I was assured would only take a minute. Lucky for them the survey was very brief or I never would have wasted my time.
As for Mobile Golf Course here's the scoop: They have a mobile trailer with a golf simulator. You can have up to two foursomes at one time in the trailer and you can play on over 38 courses. Mobile Golf Course sells individual and corporate memberships and they charge hourly rates. I think this is a pretty cool concept. Call up a few buddies, have the trailer show up at your house and then play St. Andrews. Works for me. Good luck to the folks at Mobile Golf Course.
As for Mobile Golf Course here's the scoop: They have a mobile trailer with a golf simulator. You can have up to two foursomes at one time in the trailer and you can play on over 38 courses. Mobile Golf Course sells individual and corporate memberships and they charge hourly rates. I think this is a pretty cool concept. Call up a few buddies, have the trailer show up at your house and then play St. Andrews. Works for me. Good luck to the folks at Mobile Golf Course.
November 26, 2004
Titleist dumps Paul Casey
I guess Paul Casey is finding out that stupid Americans are smart enough not to want to sponsor his sorry ass. Titleist split with Paul Casey a few days after Casey stated that he hates stupid Americans.
Although Casey now states that he regrets he ever made those comments, he would not have said them if he didn't mean them. Just like when Fuzzy Zoeller made the racist comments at the Masters several years ago regarding Tiger Woods' dinner selection. He said it as a joke, but we all know that he's a bigot and meant it too.
Although Casey now states that he regrets he ever made those comments, he would not have said them if he didn't mean them. Just like when Fuzzy Zoeller made the racist comments at the Masters several years ago regarding Tiger Woods' dinner selection. He said it as a joke, but we all know that he's a bigot and meant it too.
November 25, 2004
Mickelson Shoots a 59
Well, what do ya know? Lefty still has some game left underneath those man boobs of his. Phil Mickelson has become the 5th pro golfer to shoot a 59. I don't think this great round had anything to do with Mickelson using Callaway sticks. I'd say it was just good old fashioned kick ass putting.
Results from the PGA Grand Slam of Golf:
127: Phil Mickelson 68 59
132: Vijay Singh (Fiji) 66 66
133: Retief Goosen (RSA) 65 68
145: Todd Hamilton 70 75.
Todd, Todd, Todd, what the heck happened?
Results from the PGA Grand Slam of Golf:
127: Phil Mickelson 68 59
132: Vijay Singh (Fiji) 66 66
133: Retief Goosen (RSA) 65 68
145: Todd Hamilton 70 75.
Todd, Todd, Todd, what the heck happened?
November 24, 2004
TGC MakeOver Challenge
Ok, so I was on TheGolfChannel.com yesterday at lunch time. And what do I see? An ad for something called the MakeOver Challenge. I am in the process of signing up for this. I don't exactly know to expect if chosen for this golf MakeOver, but it can't be too bad that's for sure.
If any of my reader's happen to work at TGC or know anyone that does, tell them to look out for my application. I want to be on this show in a big way.
If any of my reader's happen to work at TGC or know anyone that does, tell them to look out for my application. I want to be on this show in a big way.
November 23, 2004
VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE, PLEASE READ!
Police today warned all men who frequent clubs and parties to stay cautious when offered drinks by women. Females are using a 'date-rape drug' called "Beer" to target unsuspecting men. This drug comes in liquid form and is available nearly everywhere!
"Beer" as it is commonly referred to, is used by 'female predators' to persuade hapless male victims to go home with them. Women need only persuade a man to consume a few of these "Beers," and then ask him home for 'no-strings-attached Sex', .... a simple approach that renders most men helpless.
After several "Beers," men will have sex with even unattractive women. Often men awaken with only hazy memories of the night before, a horrible headache, and a vague feeling that something bad happened.
Some really unfortunate men are even separated from their life's savings in a scam called "a relationship!!" in extreme cases, females have entrapped unsuspecting males into long-term servitude through a punishment called "Marriage!"
Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam once "Beer" is administered. Forward this warning to every male you know! And, if you or some man you know, have fallen victim to this insidious "Beer" and the predatory women who administer it, rest assured,...male support groups exist in every major city where you can discuss the ugly details of your encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, look in the Yellow Pages under "Golf Courses!"
"Beer" as it is commonly referred to, is used by 'female predators' to persuade hapless male victims to go home with them. Women need only persuade a man to consume a few of these "Beers," and then ask him home for 'no-strings-attached Sex', .... a simple approach that renders most men helpless.
After several "Beers," men will have sex with even unattractive women. Often men awaken with only hazy memories of the night before, a horrible headache, and a vague feeling that something bad happened.
Some really unfortunate men are even separated from their life's savings in a scam called "a relationship!!" in extreme cases, females have entrapped unsuspecting males into long-term servitude through a punishment called "Marriage!"
Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam once "Beer" is administered. Forward this warning to every male you know! And, if you or some man you know, have fallen victim to this insidious "Beer" and the predatory women who administer it, rest assured,...male support groups exist in every major city where you can discuss the ugly details of your encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, look in the Yellow Pages under "Golf Courses!"
November 22, 2004
Tiger wins in Japan
So Tiger Woods has won his first stroke play title in more than a year, who cares. This victory in Japan is worthless. Perhaps it's an ego booster for Tiger, but overall it means zilch. Who cares about this or any tournament played in Japan? I don't.
Heck, I'm starting to think about all of the turkey I'll be eating in a few days. Which leads me to my next question: If Iraq attacked Turkey from the rear, do you think Greece would help?
Heck, I'm starting to think about all of the turkey I'll be eating in a few days. Which leads me to my next question: If Iraq attacked Turkey from the rear, do you think Greece would help?
November 21, 2004
LPGA ADT Championship
So I went to Trump International today to watch the women play. I went there with pretty low expectations that I'd enjoy watching them play. So that being said, I actually had a good time. Those ladies can hit a golf ball. I just wish Kerr had won the playoff.
As I was walking up 16 with the leaders I realized I was walking right next to Donald Trump. Although he was inside the ropes and I was not. I'm glad to see that he was walking and not riding in a cart. I never realized just how large an ass Donald Trump has. Really, this thing is big. I guess that's why he is always sitting in the board room on the Apprentice so you won't see his huge ass.
The golf course itself is very nice. The pro shop of course had an entire section of Apprentice crap. How friggin cheesy is that? No one ever said that Trump had any taste. Who in their right mind is going to walk around in a You're Fired hat? I do have to admit that I bought a golf shirt. I swore I wouldn't even think about it, but there was this table with a bunch of golf shirts at 75% off. I happened to see a shirt that was a really nice shade of blue and I couldn't resist. Hey the shirt only cost me $20, wtf?
As I was walking up 16 with the leaders I realized I was walking right next to Donald Trump. Although he was inside the ropes and I was not. I'm glad to see that he was walking and not riding in a cart. I never realized just how large an ass Donald Trump has. Really, this thing is big. I guess that's why he is always sitting in the board room on the Apprentice so you won't see his huge ass.
The golf course itself is very nice. The pro shop of course had an entire section of Apprentice crap. How friggin cheesy is that? No one ever said that Trump had any taste. Who in their right mind is going to walk around in a You're Fired hat? I do have to admit that I bought a golf shirt. I swore I wouldn't even think about it, but there was this table with a bunch of golf shirts at 75% off. I happened to see a shirt that was a really nice shade of blue and I couldn't resist. Hey the shirt only cost me $20, wtf?
November 20, 2004
ADT Championship at Trump International
Tomorrow I'm going to the ADT Championship at Trump International. The only 'elite' golf course in the world that has a prison overlooking it. It's not a point that Trump or too many make known, but there is a prison that overlooks Trump's elitist snobatorium of a golf club.
I'm looking forward to seeing all of the gear that's available for sale. I don't plan on buying any of the overpriced crap with the egomaniacs name written all over it, but what the heck. From what I hear half of the gear is Trump International and ADT Championship oriented the other half is Apprentice and You're Fired crap.
It really is too bad that Natalie Gulbis only looks good on the golf course. If she could play, she would have qualified for this event and I'd get much more enjoyment out of the day by watching her. I'll be sure to sneak my camera in and get some interesting pix from the event to discuss next week.
I'm looking forward to seeing all of the gear that's available for sale. I don't plan on buying any of the overpriced crap with the egomaniacs name written all over it, but what the heck. From what I hear half of the gear is Trump International and ADT Championship oriented the other half is Apprentice and You're Fired crap.
It really is too bad that Natalie Gulbis only looks good on the golf course. If she could play, she would have qualified for this event and I'd get much more enjoyment out of the day by watching her. I'll be sure to sneak my camera in and get some interesting pix from the event to discuss next week.
November 19, 2004
Paul Casey Hates Stupid Americans
Paul Casey was recently quoted as saying he hates stupid Americans. Hey dumbass, didn't you go to college at Arizona State? Aren't you a resident of Scottsdale, AZ? Your girlfriend's American isn't she? Where's your coach from dipshit?
Hey Paul Casey, I've got an idea, since you hate us stupid Americans so much, why don't you stay f*#! off our tour!
Hey Paul Casey, I've got an idea, since you hate us stupid Americans so much, why don't you stay f*#! off our tour!
November 18, 2004
ADT Championship at Trump International
Here's an interesting stat about the field at the LPGA's ADT Championship which is held down here in West Palm Beach at Trump International this week.
The field for the ADT Championship is comprised of the 30 top money earners of 2004.
Only 12 women in the field are from the United States.
Isn't that amazing? Holy domination by international golfers Batman. WTF?
I'll be taking me Dad out to the tournament on Sunday for his 65th birthday. Then we'll be having big fat steaks for dinner. The only crappy thing about Sunday is that Natalie Gulbis won't be playing.
The field for the ADT Championship is comprised of the 30 top money earners of 2004.
Only 12 women in the field are from the United States.
Isn't that amazing? Holy domination by international golfers Batman. WTF?
I'll be taking me Dad out to the tournament on Sunday for his 65th birthday. Then we'll be having big fat steaks for dinner. The only crappy thing about Sunday is that Natalie Gulbis won't be playing.
November 17, 2004
I played golf today
Today I played in a tournament at my favorite public course Emerald Dunes in West Palm Beach. The tournament was pretty much your typical scramble. However, on one hole, a short par 4 you had to hit off the tee blindfolded. I had never hit blindfolded before, why would I, golf is hard enough with both eyes open. The first two guys in my group hit crappy shots that were not playable, the third guy hit a 5 iron about 140 yards. So I get up on the tee with my driver, get blindfolded and proceed to hit the ball about 270 yards! I couldn't believe it. It was amazing, I hit a perfect drive blindfolded.
The next interesting thing we had to do was play a yellow ball with our groups number written on it. We had to play the ball the entire round, or until it was lost, taking turns hitting the yellow ball. We had the ball for 16 holes, then sadly, yellow ball found the drink. I will never forgive Mike for hitting our beloved yellow ball in the water. Damn him.
There was also a putting contest where you had to hit the ball from 3 locations on the putting green earning points for each shot made. I royally screwed up and didn't make one damn putt.
As for the golf I was hitting the ball better than I have in a long time. I was getting off the tee great, fairway woods were rockin' and my irons were pretty good. The only area that I was not pleased with was my putting. I may have to go shopping this weekend for a new putter. I think the psychological impact of a new putter would help my putting tremendously. I used to be a really good putter, now I consider myself pretty good at best. Damn it, I'm No Damn Three Putts, I need to be a great putter!
The next interesting thing we had to do was play a yellow ball with our groups number written on it. We had to play the ball the entire round, or until it was lost, taking turns hitting the yellow ball. We had the ball for 16 holes, then sadly, yellow ball found the drink. I will never forgive Mike for hitting our beloved yellow ball in the water. Damn him.
There was also a putting contest where you had to hit the ball from 3 locations on the putting green earning points for each shot made. I royally screwed up and didn't make one damn putt.
As for the golf I was hitting the ball better than I have in a long time. I was getting off the tee great, fairway woods were rockin' and my irons were pretty good. The only area that I was not pleased with was my putting. I may have to go shopping this weekend for a new putter. I think the psychological impact of a new putter would help my putting tremendously. I used to be a really good putter, now I consider myself pretty good at best. Damn it, I'm No Damn Three Putts, I need to be a great putter!
November 16, 2004
Golf Hall of Fame gets Ugly
The ugliest professional golfer in the history of the PGA Tour, Tom Kite, was inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame. Please don't get me wrong, I like Tom Kite, and he's a great golfer, but if there were a picture of ugly in the dictionary it would be of Tom.
Congrats to the others that were also inducted: Isao Aoki, Charlie Sifford and Marlene Stewart Streit. Charlie Sifford should have been inducted 30 years ago when the first class was inducted. He should not have had to wait until he was over 80 years of age for this.
CAUTION: Those with weak stomachs should not look below.
A previous rant on Tom Kite's ugliness.
Congrats to the others that were also inducted: Isao Aoki, Charlie Sifford and Marlene Stewart Streit. Charlie Sifford should have been inducted 30 years ago when the first class was inducted. He should not have had to wait until he was over 80 years of age for this.
CAUTION: Those with weak stomachs should not look below.
A previous rant on Tom Kite's ugliness.
November 15, 2004
Greg Norman signs with MacGregor
It's nice to see a golfer with some loyalty. Although Greg Norman isn't playing that much golf anymore he has continued his relationship of over 20 years with MacGregor.
Norman said the deal is proof he will continue to play after he turns 50 on February 10th. Greg said he expects to play around 12 tournaments next year, including the British Open and the British Senior Open. Greg will not be a regular on the Champions Tour, which both he and No Three Putts, still call the Senior Tour.
I respect Greg Norman's decision to continue playing with MacGregor clubs. He easily could have found another manufacturer to give him more money. Obviously Greg has class and plenty of money. Hey, Mickelson, perhaps you should take a lesson.
Norman said the deal is proof he will continue to play after he turns 50 on February 10th. Greg said he expects to play around 12 tournaments next year, including the British Open and the British Senior Open. Greg will not be a regular on the Champions Tour, which both he and No Three Putts, still call the Senior Tour.
I respect Greg Norman's decision to continue playing with MacGregor clubs. He easily could have found another manufacturer to give him more money. Obviously Greg has class and plenty of money. Hey, Mickelson, perhaps you should take a lesson.
November 14, 2004
Tiger Woods moving to Palm Beach County?
There are rumors in my area that Tiger Woods is moving to town. His yacht, Privacy, is currently docked in this area and Tiger's been seen looking at real estate. My guess is he'll move to the new Jack Nicklaus course the Bear's Club. The Bear's Club is about 1 mile from my house, but I have yet to play there.
Here's a quote from Jack Nicklaus on the Bear's Club "It has been my desire and vision for 20 years to build a golf club that not only has my name on it, but one that also reflects my love and passion for the game. As the name implies, The Bear's Club is just that."
I hope Tiger Woods does move to the Jupiter area, that way I will hopefully get to see his hot wife Elin and her twin sister. Every town needs more hot Swedish nannies. Currently Tiger lives outside of Orlando in a development called Isleworth.
Here's a quote from Jack Nicklaus on the Bear's Club "It has been my desire and vision for 20 years to build a golf club that not only has my name on it, but one that also reflects my love and passion for the game. As the name implies, The Bear's Club is just that."
I hope Tiger Woods does move to the Jupiter area, that way I will hopefully get to see his hot wife Elin and her twin sister. Every town needs more hot Swedish nannies. Currently Tiger lives outside of Orlando in a development called Isleworth.
November 13, 2004
John Daly's wife pleads guilty to money laundering
Sherrie Miller Daly, the 4th wife of John Daly, has pleaded guilty to a federal money laundering charge. Her parents, Alvis and Billie Miller, were also indicted on charges stemming from what authorities said was a drug ring and an illegal gambling operation.
Like John Daly doesn't have enough problems of his own. Now we have to find out his wife, Sherrie, is also a problem child. I can't wait to see what type of problems Daly's next wife creates for him.
Here's a picture of the John and Sherrie Daly.
Like John Daly doesn't have enough problems of his own. Now we have to find out his wife, Sherrie, is also a problem child. I can't wait to see what type of problems Daly's next wife creates for him.
Here's a picture of the John and Sherrie Daly.
November 12, 2004
Golf Nut Society
The Golf Nut Society is an interesting group of "Hard Core" golfers. It's an interesting concept and amazing just how nutty some people can be about our beloved game of golf. Check out the stats on Bob Fagan the 2003 Golf Nut of the year. It's not surprising that Bob's single.
I like the Golf Nut Society logo, it's simple, but you get it. The cost of membership to the Golf Nut Society is a one year subscription to Golf Digest which is under $20.
I like the Golf Nut Society logo, it's simple, but you get it. The cost of membership to the Golf Nut Society is a one year subscription to Golf Digest which is under $20.
November 11, 2004
Another Callaway Executive Resigns
It was announced the other day that Patrice Hutin, the President and COO, of Callaway Golf has resigned. I've been saying for month's that this company is in trouble and obviously this is true. Look what Callaway Golf did to Phil Mickelson this year. He is off to the best year of his career, he signs with Callaway and his season goes right down the toilet.
Good luck, Chairman and CEO William C. Baker, you're going to need it. Making Callaway Golf the company it once was is going to be like hitting a one iron, it's not easy to do, most people can't do, most people are not dumb enough to even try it, but someone out there can do it.
Good luck, Chairman and CEO William C. Baker, you're going to need it. Making Callaway Golf the company it once was is going to be like hitting a one iron, it's not easy to do, most people can't do, most people are not dumb enough to even try it, but someone out there can do it.
November 10, 2004
The 10 Factor
Here's some interesting numbers regarding yearly earnings starting at $10,000 x 10 x 10 x 10.
In 1937 Harry "Lighthorse" Cooper breaks the $10,000 barrier winning $14,138.
In 1963, 36 years later, Arnold Palmer wins 10 times more breaking through the $100,000 barrier winning $128,230.
In 1988, 25 year later, Curtis Strange breaks the $1,000,000 mark.
In 2004, only 16 years after Strange's $1 million season, Vijay Singh has won more than $10,000,000.
According to my calculations, in 2011, someone on the PGA Tour will win $100,000,000 in a season. Sounds crazy, but based on the 10 factor, it will happen.
In 1937 Harry "Lighthorse" Cooper breaks the $10,000 barrier winning $14,138.
In 1963, 36 years later, Arnold Palmer wins 10 times more breaking through the $100,000 barrier winning $128,230.
In 1988, 25 year later, Curtis Strange breaks the $1,000,000 mark.
In 2004, only 16 years after Strange's $1 million season, Vijay Singh has won more than $10,000,000.
According to my calculations, in 2011, someone on the PGA Tour will win $100,000,000 in a season. Sounds crazy, but based on the 10 factor, it will happen.
November 09, 2004
Donald Trump the golfer
Donald Trump was playing golf with Jeff Immelt, the chairman of GE, at an MSNBC event on his Westchester course. On the par three sixth tee, Trump said "I'm the best billionaire golfer in the world."
Immelt came back with "I don't know for sure you're even a billionaire anymore." Then Immelt said "Trump turns around and gets a hole in one."
Who in the world has that kind of luck? To say something in such an arrogant manner about yourself and then to be so lucky and get a hole in one. Only friggin Donald Trump.
I've had a hole in one, but I don't know that I'll ever have a billion dollars. If I had a choice between the shot or the money, you bet I could go through life without ever having a hole in one. At least No Three Putts has a much nicer head of hair than Donald Trump. So take that Mr. I'm the Best Billionaire Golfer in the World.
Immelt came back with "I don't know for sure you're even a billionaire anymore." Then Immelt said "Trump turns around and gets a hole in one."
Who in the world has that kind of luck? To say something in such an arrogant manner about yourself and then to be so lucky and get a hole in one. Only friggin Donald Trump.
I've had a hole in one, but I don't know that I'll ever have a billion dollars. If I had a choice between the shot or the money, you bet I could go through life without ever having a hole in one. At least No Three Putts has a much nicer head of hair than Donald Trump. So take that Mr. I'm the Best Billionaire Golfer in the World.
November 08, 2004
Jimmy Walker: Nationwide Player of the Year
Jimmy Walker was named the Nationwide Player of the year. Jimmy Walker, the golfer, won two tournaments and led the tour with $371,346.
To congratulate Jimmy Walker on his fine season how can you say anything, but DYN-O-MITE.
To congratulate Jimmy Walker on his fine season how can you say anything, but DYN-O-MITE.
November 07, 2004
Scandal at Hidden Valley Golf Club
Here's a funny article about: three people that were sentenced for events mixing golf and prostitution. Some players even left clubs at home.
It's not often that I'm left speechless, but this is just too funny to even comment on.
It's not often that I'm left speechless, but this is just too funny to even comment on.
November 06, 2004
Pirate Golf
Every married man needs to read this important message from Pirate Golf.
Pirate Golf is another brand of "alternative" golf wear. Their catch phrase is "outlaws on the fringe."
Pirate Golf gear looks much better with the girls from Topless Golf wearing it. N'yar Matey!
Pirate Golf is another brand of "alternative" golf wear. Their catch phrase is "outlaws on the fringe."
Pirate Golf gear looks much better with the girls from Topless Golf wearing it. N'yar Matey!
November 05, 2004
Tattoo Golf
Tattoo Golf offers some pretty cool golf gear. They call their gear - aggressive golf apparel. I call it "golf gear with an attitude." Tattoo Golf sells a bunch of different golf apparel: hats, visors, shirts, t-shirts, towels....All with tattoo inspired logos.
I personally do not have a tattoo, nor will I ever have one. I don't think there is anything wrong with tattoos, they just ain't my thing. So why even bother writing about Tattoo Golf on my blog? Because I like what Tattoo Golf is all about. It's about guys with tattoos that are proud of their ink. They also happen to like golf. They have taken two things that they are passionate about and formed a business. I say good for you. It takes some balls to start a business.
I hope I start seeing Tattoo Golf more often. It's time for golfers to loosen up their collars. I'm sure these guys get plenty of rude glances from too many stuffy golfers who are scared because of a few tattoos.
I personally do not have a tattoo, nor will I ever have one. I don't think there is anything wrong with tattoos, they just ain't my thing. So why even bother writing about Tattoo Golf on my blog? Because I like what Tattoo Golf is all about. It's about guys with tattoos that are proud of their ink. They also happen to like golf. They have taken two things that they are passionate about and formed a business. I say good for you. It takes some balls to start a business.
I hope I start seeing Tattoo Golf more often. It's time for golfers to loosen up their collars. I'm sure these guys get plenty of rude glances from too many stuffy golfers who are scared because of a few tattoos.
November 04, 2004
Mianne Bagger - transsexual golfer
Mianne Bagger, a 37-year-old Dane, became the first transsexual golfer to qualify for the Ladies European Tour. The Ladies European Tour changed its rules this year to eliminate the "female at birth" in its membership policy. The rule change put the golf tour in line with International Olympic Committee regulations.
Here's a definition of transsexual. I was all confused: transsexual, transvestite, transtesticle...what's the difference.
Congratulations to Mianne Bagger. It takes some balls, pun intended, to be so open about yourself. Below is a picture a Mianne Bagger, the transsexual golfer.
A transsexual golfer on the Ladies European Tour, how nice. Next thing you know there will be lesbians on the LPGA Tour. Have you ever noticed that all of the women that shop at Home Depot look like they could play on the LPGA Tour?
Here's a definition of transsexual. I was all confused: transsexual, transvestite, transtesticle...what's the difference.
Congratulations to Mianne Bagger. It takes some balls, pun intended, to be so open about yourself. Below is a picture a Mianne Bagger, the transsexual golfer.
A transsexual golfer on the Ladies European Tour, how nice. Next thing you know there will be lesbians on the LPGA Tour. Have you ever noticed that all of the women that shop at Home Depot look like they could play on the LPGA Tour?
November 03, 2004
Tom Lehman: Ryder Cup captain
Congrats to Tom Lehman on being named the captain of the next Ryder Cup. I've always liked Tom Lehman as a player and as a person. Compared to today's players Lehman has a good Ryder Cup record of 5-3-2. This includes a record of 3-0 in singles matches.
Losers who did not become Ryder Cup captain:
Larry Nelson
Paul Azinger
Corey Pavin
Fred Couples
No Three Putts - don't know how I was overlooked!
Mark O'Meara
I hear that Tiger Woods is upset that Mark O'Meara didn't get the job. Too friggin bad. Get over it you big cry baby. It's not all about you and what you want. Besides, O'Meara will get the job one of these days.
Losers who did not become Ryder Cup captain:
Larry Nelson
Paul Azinger
Corey Pavin
Fred Couples
No Three Putts - don't know how I was overlooked!
Mark O'Meara
I hear that Tiger Woods is upset that Mark O'Meara didn't get the job. Too friggin bad. Get over it you big cry baby. It's not all about you and what you want. Besides, O'Meara will get the job one of these days.
November 02, 2004
Darren Clarke screwed up with class
Last week at the Volvo Masters held at Valderrama, Darren Clarke was a co-leader during the second round when he got up to the tee at the par five 17th hole. Darren Clarke ended up with a six-over 11 on the 17th hole. He put the ball into the water guarding the front of the green 3 times.
A cell phone went off twice while Darren Clarke tried to hit the green. Clarke was quoted as saying "the phone was not a factor."
I say "good for you Darren Clarke!" It's great to hear that a player of your caliber is not blaming other's for your misfortunes. As a professional you should be able to handle these minor distractions. Granted it does not make them right, but you handled this one like a class act.
I can only imagine what Tiger Woods would have done if a cell phone went off while he was swinging, twice nonetheless. Actually, I do know what Tiger would have done. First he would have had his moron caddie Steve confiscate the phone and throw it in the water. Next Tiger would have complained for a week about how rude the Europeans are and how the cell phone distracted him, blah, blah, blah.
A cell phone went off twice while Darren Clarke tried to hit the green. Clarke was quoted as saying "the phone was not a factor."
I say "good for you Darren Clarke!" It's great to hear that a player of your caliber is not blaming other's for your misfortunes. As a professional you should be able to handle these minor distractions. Granted it does not make them right, but you handled this one like a class act.
I can only imagine what Tiger Woods would have done if a cell phone went off while he was swinging, twice nonetheless. Actually, I do know what Tiger would have done. First he would have had his moron caddie Steve confiscate the phone and throw it in the water. Next Tiger would have complained for a week about how rude the Europeans are and how the cell phone distracted him, blah, blah, blah.
November 01, 2004
Kombi Power Point Thumb
For the first time ever I saw an ad in my local newspaper, the Palm Beach Post, for a golf glove. The ad was for the Kombi Power Point Thumb golf glove. The spokesperson for Kombi is long ball driver Sam Holdridge.
Kombi Golf Glove has some sort of patented Power Point Thumb which gives you unsurpassed club feel. I have never really put much thought into the technology that goes into making a golf glove. I buy the usual Footjoy glove every time and that's it. I don't think the ad in the paper for Kombi has convinced me to buy their product, but I think the next time I need a glove I'll try out a few brands and see if there is much difference between brands.
Perhaps I'll try a Kombi glove if I see one, but I am sure I won't be buying a Kombi golf glove because Sam Holdridge uses them. I am convinced there is no way in hell a golf glove will give me more distance off the tee.
Kombi Golf Glove has some sort of patented Power Point Thumb which gives you unsurpassed club feel. I have never really put much thought into the technology that goes into making a golf glove. I buy the usual Footjoy glove every time and that's it. I don't think the ad in the paper for Kombi has convinced me to buy their product, but I think the next time I need a glove I'll try out a few brands and see if there is much difference between brands.
Perhaps I'll try a Kombi glove if I see one, but I am sure I won't be buying a Kombi golf glove because Sam Holdridge uses them. I am convinced there is no way in hell a golf glove will give me more distance off the tee.
October 31, 2004
October 30, 2004
Naughty Allie
Naughty Allie is a website with nude pix on a golf course. Nice pix, with several holes I would definitely want to play. NOT SAFE FOR WORK!
October 29, 2004
Kirk Triplett on Vijay Singh
"When Tiger was playing great, they wanted to know about Tiger. When Vijay is playing great they want to know about Vijay. I don't know Vijay. He's on the practice range, I'm goofing off. How am I going to get to meet him?" Kirk Triplett
I do find Kirk Triplett's comment amusing, but at the same time, why isn't Kirk Triplett out at the range more often? Perhaps you'd actually win more if you weren't such a goofy bastard Kirk. Hey Kirk: Perhaps you should follow Vijay's lead, after all, he is #1.
I do find Kirk Triplett's comment amusing, but at the same time, why isn't Kirk Triplett out at the range more often? Perhaps you'd actually win more if you weren't such a goofy bastard Kirk. Hey Kirk: Perhaps you should follow Vijay's lead, after all, he is #1.
October 28, 2004
October 27, 2004
Topless Golf
Topless Golf is a music group. I've never heard the music of Topless Golf, but I like the name and they've got a cool logo so what the heck. Here's their pitch from the Topless Golf website:
As seen in Playboy and on Howard Stern!
"Girls Gone Wild...on the Golf Course!"
"Golf, the way it SHOULD be played!"
"Killer tunes! Music as enjoyable as the visuals!"
If anyone has actually ever heard the music of Topless Golf let us know if it's any good or not.
As seen in Playboy and on Howard Stern!
"Girls Gone Wild...on the Golf Course!"
"Golf, the way it SHOULD be played!"
"Killer tunes! Music as enjoyable as the visuals!"
If anyone has actually ever heard the music of Topless Golf let us know if it's any good or not.
October 26, 2004
Nude Golf
Nudity on the golf course is not something golfers are accustomed to seeing. The folks at Virginia National Golf Club near Leesburg and the Hope Valley Golf Course in Mount Airy, MD now have topless female caddies and beer servers.
So now that I've got your attention, here's the scoop, both courses were hosting tournaments on the same day that were sponsored by strip clubs. They don't actually have nude caddies or servers there all of the time. The TV show Inside Edition got word of the events sponsored by the strip clubs and had their helicopter circling the courses to get footage of the events.
Click here for a topless caddie Sorry it's kind of blurred this is the image that was on Inside Edition.
I love seeing a naked pretty girl as much as the next guy, but I have enough problems concentrating on the golf course. A nude caddie would definitely not help my game.
So now that I've got your attention, here's the scoop, both courses were hosting tournaments on the same day that were sponsored by strip clubs. They don't actually have nude caddies or servers there all of the time. The TV show Inside Edition got word of the events sponsored by the strip clubs and had their helicopter circling the courses to get footage of the events.
Click here for a topless caddie Sorry it's kind of blurred this is the image that was on Inside Edition.
I love seeing a naked pretty girl as much as the next guy, but I have enough problems concentrating on the golf course. A nude caddie would definitely not help my game.
October 25, 2004
I played in a scramble
On Saturday I played at Palm Beach National Golf & CC ,which is in Lake Worth, in a scramble with some guys from work. The damn rain delayed play twice. And it's never that enjoyable playing while all of your clothing is saturated. I must be a moron for not having a rain suit in my golf bag. Then again, my umbrella did me a lot of good sitting in the back of my SUV while I was getting soaked.
None of us in the group played great, but we all hit the ball OK. We were never in danger of getting a bogey, but we didn't have any easy eagle putts either. We ended up at 9 under. Considering none of us were sticking our irons, our score was acceptable. There were two groups that finished at -17 and then my group which finished in third.
Palm Beach National is not a golf course I would pay to play. It's a rather short course and kind of boring. Palm Beach National's claim to fame is it's the home of the Joanne Carner Golf Academy for Ladies. That sends a message to me: Slow play, because there will be a bunch of old ladies out there.
I played the Brush-T for the first time. Honestly, I didn't notice a difference. However, I didn't hit any drives fat, I'm usually good for at least one fat drive a round. So I think the Brush-T could have a psychological impact on a golfer, if you think it will help you get off a tee, it may help you.
A couple hints for my readers regarding the Brush-T. Don't make the mistake I made. I showed the guys in my group the package it came in so they could read about the Brush-T. Every time I got onto a tee they would say "take out your bullet." (the bullet refers to the case the tee comes in) And then they'd just give me crap if I hit a good or bad drive saying it must be the tee. And if anyone out there wears the clip that comes with the Brush-T on your belt, you are a loser.
None of us in the group played great, but we all hit the ball OK. We were never in danger of getting a bogey, but we didn't have any easy eagle putts either. We ended up at 9 under. Considering none of us were sticking our irons, our score was acceptable. There were two groups that finished at -17 and then my group which finished in third.
Palm Beach National is not a golf course I would pay to play. It's a rather short course and kind of boring. Palm Beach National's claim to fame is it's the home of the Joanne Carner Golf Academy for Ladies. That sends a message to me: Slow play, because there will be a bunch of old ladies out there.
I played the Brush-T for the first time. Honestly, I didn't notice a difference. However, I didn't hit any drives fat, I'm usually good for at least one fat drive a round. So I think the Brush-T could have a psychological impact on a golfer, if you think it will help you get off a tee, it may help you.
A couple hints for my readers regarding the Brush-T. Don't make the mistake I made. I showed the guys in my group the package it came in so they could read about the Brush-T. Every time I got onto a tee they would say "take out your bullet." (the bullet refers to the case the tee comes in) And then they'd just give me crap if I hit a good or bad drive saying it must be the tee. And if anyone out there wears the clip that comes with the Brush-T on your belt, you are a loser.
October 23, 2004
Golf humor...
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve or her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag.
"Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."
Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket, removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!!!"
And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve or her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag.
"Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."
Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket, removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!!!"
October 22, 2004
Urinating on the golf course
Because men can whip it out and take a leak anywhere at anytime, does that make it OK to piss on the golf course? Although I'm a big fan of urinating when my bladder is full, I never piss on the golf course. Being somewhat paranoid of germs I can't imagine picking my ball up after completing a hole and then realizing it smelled like piss because some lazy moron took a leak and my ball rolled through it.
So although I am not a supporter of pissing on the golf course, here's a story for you regarding this very subject: I was playing golf back in high school with my friend Jason at Portland Golf Club, in lovely Portland, CT. The group behind us hit into us on the first couple of holes. Of course, we gave them the finger and yelled knock it off. We had teed off on the par four 5th hole, you have to hit a blind drive down a very steep hill to the green, and we were walking to the green when the idiots behind us hit into us again. So we chip on, drop our putts and finish the hole. I start walking over to my bag and start talking to Jason, but he's not there. I turn around to look for him and I see him standing over the cup in the middle of the green taking a leak.
As Jason and I stood on the 6th tee waiting for these jackasses to pick their balls out of the cup on the 5th green, we nearly pissed our pants in laughter. I'll never forget that story and I'll never forget the fun Jason and I used to have playing golf together.
The next time the group behind you hits into your group please remember this story. No Three Putts says go ahead and take a leak.
So although I am not a supporter of pissing on the golf course, here's a story for you regarding this very subject: I was playing golf back in high school with my friend Jason at Portland Golf Club, in lovely Portland, CT. The group behind us hit into us on the first couple of holes. Of course, we gave them the finger and yelled knock it off. We had teed off on the par four 5th hole, you have to hit a blind drive down a very steep hill to the green, and we were walking to the green when the idiots behind us hit into us again. So we chip on, drop our putts and finish the hole. I start walking over to my bag and start talking to Jason, but he's not there. I turn around to look for him and I see him standing over the cup in the middle of the green taking a leak.
As Jason and I stood on the 6th tee waiting for these jackasses to pick their balls out of the cup on the 5th green, we nearly pissed our pants in laughter. I'll never forget that story and I'll never forget the fun Jason and I used to have playing golf together.
The next time the group behind you hits into your group please remember this story. No Three Putts says go ahead and take a leak.
October 21, 2004
eBay & Golf
I have never been a fan of eBay. I do enjoy browsing eBay, but I rarely purchase anything. eBay has a ton of golf stuff. Almost anything golf related you can think of is there.
I have friends that buy all of the latest golf equipment on eBay and they usually save about 50% off the retail price. I have no such luck. My luck on eBay is like this: I'll spend $200 thinking I'm getting this great new driver, when I get the package it turns out I just spent about $150 too much on a knock off of the driver I thought I was getting.
Maybe I am just eBay illiterate or something, but I am just so damn skeptical of purchasing stuff on there. I guess I'm just an eBay moron.
I have friends that buy all of the latest golf equipment on eBay and they usually save about 50% off the retail price. I have no such luck. My luck on eBay is like this: I'll spend $200 thinking I'm getting this great new driver, when I get the package it turns out I just spent about $150 too much on a knock off of the driver I thought I was getting.
Maybe I am just eBay illiterate or something, but I am just so damn skeptical of purchasing stuff on there. I guess I'm just an eBay moron.
October 20, 2004
Play Golf America
Is it me or do the Play Golf America commercials suck? Not only do I think the commercials suck, the whole campaign sucks and the Play Golf America website also sucks.
Here's an article about Play Golf America and the $12 million ad budget used to promote golf. The biggest mistake of this campaign is the people they use to promote golf. Why in the hell would I equate playing golf with Mia Hamm as a spokesperson? She makes me want to kick a soccer ball, or Nomar's head, but Mia definitely does not motivate me to want to play golf. None of the 'celebrities' used in this campaign make me think of golf for that matter.
I'm not saying I don't think it's a good idea to promote golf. I just think this campaign was a waste of money. The PGA of America, who paid for this silly campaign, headquarters is about one mile away from my office. I could have easily come up with a much better campaign that would actually get golfers on the golf course. Hey PGA, if you need some help, send me an email.
Here's an article about Play Golf America and the $12 million ad budget used to promote golf. The biggest mistake of this campaign is the people they use to promote golf. Why in the hell would I equate playing golf with Mia Hamm as a spokesperson? She makes me want to kick a soccer ball, or Nomar's head, but Mia definitely does not motivate me to want to play golf. None of the 'celebrities' used in this campaign make me think of golf for that matter.
I'm not saying I don't think it's a good idea to promote golf. I just think this campaign was a waste of money. The PGA of America, who paid for this silly campaign, headquarters is about one mile away from my office. I could have easily come up with a much better campaign that would actually get golfers on the golf course. Hey PGA, if you need some help, send me an email.
October 19, 2004
Isabelle Beisiegel at Q-School
Isabelle Beisiegel has paid $4,500 to enter the PGA Q-School. She is the first woman stupid enough to think she will be able to qualify for the PGA Tour by entering Q-School.
I give Isabelle Beisiegel credit for trying to qualify for the PGA Tour and actually putting up her own money to do so. But really, what is she thinking? Isabelle had only one top ten finish this year as a LPGA Tour rookie and she failed to make the cut in her last 5 events.
Isabelle Beisiegel isn't that bad looking, but I wonder if she realizes just how difficult Q-School is. Good luck lady, you'll need it.
I give Isabelle Beisiegel credit for trying to qualify for the PGA Tour and actually putting up her own money to do so. But really, what is she thinking? Isabelle had only one top ten finish this year as a LPGA Tour rookie and she failed to make the cut in her last 5 events.
Isabelle Beisiegel isn't that bad looking, but I wonder if she realizes just how difficult Q-School is. Good luck lady, you'll need it.
October 18, 2004
Sexy Natalie Gulbis Pix
Thank you to my friends at FHM for these great pictures of Natalie Gulbis.
Natalie Gulbis is by far the hottest LPGA golfer. Natalie gives me hope that other LPGA hotties will follow her lead and start showing some personality and making LPGA golf fun to watch. Or at least hopefully Natalie Gulbis will inspire other LPGA players to dress in a more visually appealing manner. If these women want bigger purses and more fans at the events, it's time to shorten the skirts, show some bellies and have some sex appeal. Natalie Gulbis, you are hot!
Natalie Gulbis is by far the hottest LPGA golfer. Natalie gives me hope that other LPGA hotties will follow her lead and start showing some personality and making LPGA golf fun to watch. Or at least hopefully Natalie Gulbis will inspire other LPGA players to dress in a more visually appealing manner. If these women want bigger purses and more fans at the events, it's time to shorten the skirts, show some bellies and have some sex appeal. Natalie Gulbis, you are hot!
October 17, 2004
Hit Down Dammit!
Hit Down Dammit by Clive Scarff
I stumbled upon this damn site and thought I'd share it with you. I honestly have no clue if these Hit Down Dammit CD's are worth a damn, but I thought the name was funny enough so what the heck.
Here's their pitch:
Do You Hit The Golf Ball Fat?
Or just as often, thin?
With poor distance?
No matter how much you practice?
The answer: "Hit Down Dammit!"
Whether beginner or advanced, you will never reach your golf potential until you understand the principle and technique of hitting down at the golf ball.
I stumbled upon this damn site and thought I'd share it with you. I honestly have no clue if these Hit Down Dammit CD's are worth a damn, but I thought the name was funny enough so what the heck.
Here's their pitch:
Do You Hit The Golf Ball Fat?
Or just as often, thin?
With poor distance?
No matter how much you practice?
The answer: "Hit Down Dammit!"
Whether beginner or advanced, you will never reach your golf potential until you understand the principle and technique of hitting down at the golf ball.
October 16, 2004
The Stupid Bitch of the Month is...
She worries about the sounds of jackhammers, but yet she is smoking! WTF? There should be a law against people this stupid breeding.
October 15, 2004
Golfity.com
For those of you that like to over analyze ever single thing you do on the golf course and keep track of it Golfity.com is for you. Golfity stores, tracks and analyzes all of the data you write down on your scorecard: number of putts, fairways hit, greens hit... Click here to check out a sample of their stats page.
My favorite thing about Golfity.com is the golf course analysis. The way it works is you can input any course into their system, then anytime you play that course you enter your scores and the play by play of your round. Golfity then analyzes that course and how you play it. This to me can be helpful particularly if you tend to play a few holes poorly. You can plan some course management to improve your score.
I personally don't need more distractions on the golf course like writing everything down as I'm playing. I do track my putts, but I don't do anything with that info after the round other than add them up. I think Golfity.com is a useful site for many, but I don't think I'll ever use it.
My favorite thing about Golfity.com is the golf course analysis. The way it works is you can input any course into their system, then anytime you play that course you enter your scores and the play by play of your round. Golfity then analyzes that course and how you play it. This to me can be helpful particularly if you tend to play a few holes poorly. You can plan some course management to improve your score.
I personally don't need more distractions on the golf course like writing everything down as I'm playing. I do track my putts, but I don't do anything with that info after the round other than add them up. I think Golfity.com is a useful site for many, but I don't think I'll ever use it.
October 14, 2004
Edwin Watts Golf Shop
Unfortunately my round of golf was cancelled yesterday and I had to work. That sucks, but I needed to get my golf fix somehow so I decided to go to Edwin Watts Golf Shop. Home of overpriced golf clubs, shoes, balls, apparel, etc...but it's fun to go there because I know they'll always have all of the newest equipment.
I just got the new Golf Magazine the other day and the feature story is a big comparison of putters. All of the latest and greatest from all of the manufacturers that you'd expect. The one I really wanted to check out was the new Ping Doc 17. This thing is huge, it's the John Holmes of putters. It's the largest regulation size putter on the market.
I took some putts with the Doc 17, the Scotty Cameron Red X and a couple of other putters. And although I liked the feel of the Doc 17, I don't know that I could ever get used to using a putter that is so big. I think I'll need to try one on the course before I buy one.
I did buy some of the Brush-T tees in the most neutral color they had, black. I also bought a dozen Titleist DT SoLo balls. I've never played the SoLo's so I thought I'd give them a try. With all of the golf gear they sell at Edwin Watts, which is obviously overpriced, it made me wonder why I don't buy clubs on Ebay and try to save a few bucks. I think I'll write about Ebay and my wonderful experiences there another day.
I just got the new Golf Magazine the other day and the feature story is a big comparison of putters. All of the latest and greatest from all of the manufacturers that you'd expect. The one I really wanted to check out was the new Ping Doc 17. This thing is huge, it's the John Holmes of putters. It's the largest regulation size putter on the market.
I took some putts with the Doc 17, the Scotty Cameron Red X and a couple of other putters. And although I liked the feel of the Doc 17, I don't know that I could ever get used to using a putter that is so big. I think I'll need to try one on the course before I buy one.
I did buy some of the Brush-T tees in the most neutral color they had, black. I also bought a dozen Titleist DT SoLo balls. I've never played the SoLo's so I thought I'd give them a try. With all of the golf gear they sell at Edwin Watts, which is obviously overpriced, it made me wonder why I don't buy clubs on Ebay and try to save a few bucks. I think I'll write about Ebay and my wonderful experiences there another day.
October 13, 2004
Golf Tees & More Golf Tees
Is there such thing as a better golf tee? In yesterday's Wall Street Journal there was an article about golf tees and how technology is improving golf tees. The new tees claim to help with aim and distance. I am skeptical, but I will be playing golf today, at Emerald Dunes, so I'm going to pick up some of these new tees and give them a try.
It's hard for me to believe that there are over 764 golf tee related patents at the USPTO. In case you didn't know the USGA has ruled that a golf tee can be no longer than 4 inches.
Here's a few of the new "high-tech" golf tees:
Brush-t
Slammer Tee
Aero-Tee
Not only are the new breed of golf tees coming in these crazy shapes, but they also come in many crazy colors as well. I'm going to buy a couple of these and see if I notice a difference. For me to try a new tee is a major task. I'm the type of golfer that won't play a colored golf tee and I'll never play a plastic tee. Hopefully playing a new type of tee won't put stupid thoughts in my head and mess me up. We'll see what happens.
I forgot to mention the Eco Golf Tee. This tee is made out of corn and will decompose after eight months. I would suggest not buying large quantities of these tees, if you don't get to use them they'll be gone. One benefit to the Eco Golf Tee is if you're hungry on the golf course you could always eat it. Which makes me wonder, if you eat a corn tee, will you have the pleasure of seeing it in a couple of days?
It's hard for me to believe that there are over 764 golf tee related patents at the USPTO. In case you didn't know the USGA has ruled that a golf tee can be no longer than 4 inches.
Here's a few of the new "high-tech" golf tees:
Brush-t
Slammer Tee
Aero-Tee
Not only are the new breed of golf tees coming in these crazy shapes, but they also come in many crazy colors as well. I'm going to buy a couple of these and see if I notice a difference. For me to try a new tee is a major task. I'm the type of golfer that won't play a colored golf tee and I'll never play a plastic tee. Hopefully playing a new type of tee won't put stupid thoughts in my head and mess me up. We'll see what happens.
I forgot to mention the Eco Golf Tee. This tee is made out of corn and will decompose after eight months. I would suggest not buying large quantities of these tees, if you don't get to use them they'll be gone. One benefit to the Eco Golf Tee is if you're hungry on the golf course you could always eat it. Which makes me wonder, if you eat a corn tee, will you have the pleasure of seeing it in a couple of days?
October 12, 2004
Go Red Sox!
It seems like just yesterday that bastard Aaron Boone hit the game winning homerun in Game 7 to screw the Red Sox once again. Let's hope this year the Sox can close the deal and make it to the Series.
If the Sox should lose, it will be because of someone with a name beginning with a 'B'. As in Curse of the Bambino. As in the three most dreaded 'B' words in Beantown: Bucky, Buckner and Boone. May all three of you pricks burn in hell.
GO RED SOX!!!
If the Sox should lose, it will be because of someone with a name beginning with a 'B'. As in Curse of the Bambino. As in the three most dreaded 'B' words in Beantown: Bucky, Buckner and Boone. May all three of you pricks burn in hell.
GO RED SOX!!!
Professional Disc Golf Association
The other week the Wall Street Journal had an article about the popularity of Disc Golf. This article was about the Professional Disc Golf Association (PDGA) and how much this sport and business is growing. My first thought was, oh no, these damn frisbee throwers are going to try and take over our golf courses just like the damn snowboarders did to our ski slopes. And guess what, I was right.
Same crap, different sport. Here's a directory of golf courses that have been bastardized by these frisbee tossers. Granted there are many parks that offer this too, and that's cool by me.
The number of people playing disc golf surprised me. There are approximately 500,000 people playing on a regular basis nationwide on over 1,250 courses, up from 900 only two years ago.
I guess I'd play the sport if given the opportunity, it's not like I'll go out of my way to try this. Besides, I've never been very good at throwing a frisbee. Going to all those Grateful Dead shows in high school and college you would have thought I'd be much better at tossing one of those damn things. Hey, if you give me a hacky sack I can juggle it with the best of them.
To me, this will always be frisbee golf.
Same crap, different sport. Here's a directory of golf courses that have been bastardized by these frisbee tossers. Granted there are many parks that offer this too, and that's cool by me.
The number of people playing disc golf surprised me. There are approximately 500,000 people playing on a regular basis nationwide on over 1,250 courses, up from 900 only two years ago.
I guess I'd play the sport if given the opportunity, it's not like I'll go out of my way to try this. Besides, I've never been very good at throwing a frisbee. Going to all those Grateful Dead shows in high school and college you would have thought I'd be much better at tossing one of those damn things. Hey, if you give me a hacky sack I can juggle it with the best of them.
To me, this will always be frisbee golf.
October 11, 2004
Chip Beck Shoots 59
Thirteen years ago today Chip Beck shot a 59 at the Las Vegas Invitational. Beck shot a 29-30, 13 under par. This round matched Al Geiberger's second round 59 at the 1977 Memphis Classic as only the second sub-60 round in PGA Tour history.
Of course a third player, David Duval, joined this elite club in 1999. David shot a 59 at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic enroute to victory. It was reported that David also shot a 59 a few months ago on the back nine at Whistling Straits while playing a practice round.
Of course a third player, David Duval, joined this elite club in 1999. David shot a 59 at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic enroute to victory. It was reported that David also shot a 59 a few months ago on the back nine at Whistling Straits while playing a practice round.
October 08, 2004
Who's Your Rabbi?
Who's Your Rabbi? is a new website that No Three Putts launched last week. Check it out and let me know what you think.
You do not have to be Jewish to wear these tees, you qualify as an honorary Jew if:
1. You've ever seen an Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller movie.
2. If you've ever listened to Howard Stern.
3. If you ever ate a bagel.
4. If you've heard Madonna, um Esther, sing.
5. Said to someone "that's Kosher" at least once.
I'd like to ask my readers to help me out and forward a link to www.WhosYourRabbi.com to everyone you know. I am trying to get the word out about Who's Your Rabbi? to the media. If you know anyone at a newspaper, magazine, website or blog who might be interested in writing about Who's Your Rabbi? please tell them about the site. Also, if you know any celebrities who might be interested in wearing the tees please let me know.
Thanks for your help and for telling the world to buy these tees! There are men's and women's tees available in several colors and styles.
You do not have to be Jewish to wear these tees, you qualify as an honorary Jew if:
1. You've ever seen an Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller movie.
2. If you've ever listened to Howard Stern.
3. If you ever ate a bagel.
4. If you've heard Madonna, um Esther, sing.
5. Said to someone "that's Kosher" at least once.
I'd like to ask my readers to help me out and forward a link to www.WhosYourRabbi.com to everyone you know. I am trying to get the word out about Who's Your Rabbi? to the media. If you know anyone at a newspaper, magazine, website or blog who might be interested in writing about Who's Your Rabbi? please tell them about the site. Also, if you know any celebrities who might be interested in wearing the tees please let me know.
Thanks for your help and for telling the world to buy these tees! There are men's and women's tees available in several colors and styles.
October 07, 2004
Vijay trys to help Tiger
What was Vijay Singh thinking? Perhaps Vijay was trying to give Tiger Woods a wedding present yesterday when he commented on why Tiger is no longer number one. "As you get older you have to keep adjusting to your golf swing, your body does not stay the same. I have adjusted for the better and I don't think he has done that" Vijay said.
It's rare to hear Vijay say more than a couple of words, but when Vijay speaks he usually says something stupid or somewhat inappropriate, although I usually find his remarks humorous. Right, Annika?
Singh went on to say "I think it's his body change. When he first came on the scene he was extremely strong. I'm not saying he's not strong now but you do slow down a little bit. The golf swing has to match your body ability."
"His body and his golf do not match like it did some five years or four years ago so he has to adjust that. I'm sure once he figures that one out he'll be okay."
I think Vijay has forgotten something, Tiger's swing has changed. Ask Butch Harmon if he thinks Tiger's swing has changed. It was very nice of Vijay to give Tiger this advice as a wedding present. These stupid comments are probably enough incentive for Tiger to practice his ass off and dethrone Vijay as number one.
It's rare to hear Vijay say more than a couple of words, but when Vijay speaks he usually says something stupid or somewhat inappropriate, although I usually find his remarks humorous. Right, Annika?
Singh went on to say "I think it's his body change. When he first came on the scene he was extremely strong. I'm not saying he's not strong now but you do slow down a little bit. The golf swing has to match your body ability."
"His body and his golf do not match like it did some five years or four years ago so he has to adjust that. I'm sure once he figures that one out he'll be okay."
I think Vijay has forgotten something, Tiger's swing has changed. Ask Butch Harmon if he thinks Tiger's swing has changed. It was very nice of Vijay to give Tiger this advice as a wedding present. These stupid comments are probably enough incentive for Tiger to practice his ass off and dethrone Vijay as number one.
October 06, 2004
Rodney Dangerfield forever funny
Yesterday, Rodney Dangerfield aka Al Czervik, passed away. Without Rodney Dangerfield, Caddyshack may have sucked. I saw Rodney in concert at The Bushnell in Hartford, CT when I was in high school. I almost pissed my pants that night. Of course Rodney was great in funny movies, but he really showed his wide range of tremendous talent by playing a loving husband and a caring father in the movie Natural Born Killers. I could go on and on rambling about how great I think Rodney was, but I won't. Instead here's a few pix of da man.
You'll be missed you funny bastard!
You'll be missed you funny bastard!
October 05, 2004
If Tiger & Elin get married...
If Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren get married in Barbados this week, where do you suppose the bridal registry will be? I know it certainly won't be Wal-Mart. I doubt if they would go to Bed Bath & Beyond or Home Depot. Actually, the more I think about it, who cares.
When you get married in Barbados, where do you go on a honeymoon?
Is there any chance Elin's twin sister would be up for a menage-a-trois the night of the wedding?
Do you think Ernie, Vijay or Phil got an invite?
Do you think Steve Williams is going to steal the photographers camera?
And what would the perfect wedding gift be? Obviously, lessons from Butch Harmon.
When you get married in Barbados, where do you go on a honeymoon?
Is there any chance Elin's twin sister would be up for a menage-a-trois the night of the wedding?
Do you think Ernie, Vijay or Phil got an invite?
Do you think Steve Williams is going to steal the photographers camera?
And what would the perfect wedding gift be? Obviously, lessons from Butch Harmon.
October 04, 2004
Arnie's Army Battles Prostate Cancer
Arnie's Army Battles Prostate Cancer is a great cause and you can help! All you have to do is ask your local club pro to schedule a Par-3 shootout. All funds raised go to the Prostate Cancer Foundation. Prostate cancer is the most commonly diagnosed non-skin cancer in America. Every 15 minutes a man dies from prostate cancer in the US.
Call for more info: 1.866.586.5585 or checkout www.ArniesArmyBattles.com
Call for more info: 1.866.586.5585 or checkout www.ArniesArmyBattles.com
October 03, 2004
Julia vs. Paris
Here's an interesting comparison of Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Paris Hilton. I must have been living under a rock, because I did not know that Julia's father is worth several billion dollars. Elaine Benes from Seinfeld is looking better than ever.
October 02, 2004
Golf Knickers
Yesterday, the Wall Street Journal had an article about golfers wearing knickers. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind when you think of knickers is Payne Stewart. The WSJ story talks about how golfers are looking to bring golf "back to the good old days."
I never see golfers wearing knickers down here in south Florida, but apparently golfers in cooler climates are wearing them. Web retailer GolfKnicker.com has doubled their sales every year since 2001 and this year should end with sales just below $1 million. WOW! That's a lot of half pants sold. It's not like knickers are cheap either, at $50 - $200 each, you really must want to wear knickers to buy them. The GolfKnicker site explains how to properly wear knickers, they sell matching socks, shirts, caps, etc...
I personally like the idea of knickers. Not because I think they are a fashion statement that will get you the ladies, but because you have to have balls to wear them. They scream "I could care less what you think, I'll wear these silly things if I damn well please."
Everything looks better with Hooters, even golf knickers.
I never see golfers wearing knickers down here in south Florida, but apparently golfers in cooler climates are wearing them. Web retailer GolfKnicker.com has doubled their sales every year since 2001 and this year should end with sales just below $1 million. WOW! That's a lot of half pants sold. It's not like knickers are cheap either, at $50 - $200 each, you really must want to wear knickers to buy them. The GolfKnicker site explains how to properly wear knickers, they sell matching socks, shirts, caps, etc...
I personally like the idea of knickers. Not because I think they are a fashion statement that will get you the ladies, but because you have to have balls to wear them. They scream "I could care less what you think, I'll wear these silly things if I damn well please."
Everything looks better with Hooters, even golf knickers.
October 01, 2004
Tiger & Elin are getting married
From what I've read, it appears that Tiger Woods and the lovely Elin Nordegren are getting married in a few days. Gee, I hope Tiger's back doesn't hurt too much, that would be a shame if No Three Putts had to fly to Barbados and help consummate the marriage on Tiger's behalf.
For all I know the Barbados Daily Nation could be similar to one of the rags you see at the supermarket checkout counter. Regardless, if Tiger and Elin are getting married in a couple of days, I have to wonder how long the marriage is going to last. I think she'll get bored with him. I give Tiger and Elin's marriage three years.
I want to get a copy of the pre-nuptial agreement. I wonder who gets their pet Stevie if the marriage fails.
For all I know the Barbados Daily Nation could be similar to one of the rags you see at the supermarket checkout counter. Regardless, if Tiger and Elin are getting married in a couple of days, I have to wonder how long the marriage is going to last. I think she'll get bored with him. I give Tiger and Elin's marriage three years.
I want to get a copy of the pre-nuptial agreement. I wonder who gets their pet Stevie if the marriage fails.
September 30, 2004
Tiger's back hurts, BOO HOO!
So today I'm looking at the golf news feeds and all I saw were headlines about Tiger Woods and his damn back, about 294 to be exact. Ya know what? I don't care if his back hurts. If it hurts that much, then Tiger should not play. Since he is playing, let's talk golf, not about how courageous he is for playing. This is friggin golf here. It's not like he's going out to defend our country. Actually, Tiger tried to defend our country two weeks ago at the Ryder Cup and failed miserably.
I'd really prefer to hear about the first round leader Todd Hamilton. Heck, I'd like to hear his daughter make more funny comments like she did after the British Open.
Here's a good quote from Todd Hamilton regarding the Ryder Cup and playing golf "I was paying attention two weeks ago, it looked like the Europeans were having fun. From where I have been, to be playing for this amount of money on really nice courses, that's fun." Good for you Todd, you've got the right attitude.
This is just too gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) for me. I don't care if my back had the most excruciating pain, I would never let Steve Williams give me a massage.
I heard that Ian Poulter, who is not playing this week, gave all of the European golfers tees with the final Ryder Cup score on them. Ian instructed the golfers to drop a few of these tees on every tee box with the hope that American golfers would pick them up. Too funny.
I'd really prefer to hear about the first round leader Todd Hamilton. Heck, I'd like to hear his daughter make more funny comments like she did after the British Open.
Here's a good quote from Todd Hamilton regarding the Ryder Cup and playing golf "I was paying attention two weeks ago, it looked like the Europeans were having fun. From where I have been, to be playing for this amount of money on really nice courses, that's fun." Good for you Todd, you've got the right attitude.
This is just too gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) for me. I don't care if my back had the most excruciating pain, I would never let Steve Williams give me a massage.
I heard that Ian Poulter, who is not playing this week, gave all of the European golfers tees with the final Ryder Cup score on them. Ian instructed the golfers to drop a few of these tees on every tee box with the hope that American golfers would pick them up. Too funny.
September 29, 2004
David Morland IV - Who?
Why in the world would No Three Putts mention relatively unknown PGA Tour player David Morland IV on his golf blog? I'll give you one simple answer, his wife is, Mrs. Florida and runner-up at the Mrs. America contest, Michelle Morland. Michelle is another example of a hot wife of a PGA Tour player.
I've come to the conclusion that if you can say you are a professional golfer, you will end up with a hot wife. I am yet to see a truly ugly wife of a PGA Tour player, now the wife's of European Tour players are another story. Many of those players obviously have drinking problems and meet their women after kicking back way too many drinks. I think I may have to start selling fake tour cards so my readers can go out bag some hot chicks.
I've come to the conclusion that if you can say you are a professional golfer, you will end up with a hot wife. I am yet to see a truly ugly wife of a PGA Tour player, now the wife's of European Tour players are another story. Many of those players obviously have drinking problems and meet their women after kicking back way too many drinks. I think I may have to start selling fake tour cards so my readers can go out bag some hot chicks.
September 28, 2004
Vijay Singh: Practice Makes Perfect
I don't know what to say about Vijay Singh other than AMAZING. I guess it is only appropriate that Vijay means Victory in Hindi.
Let's review Vijay's year
1. Won 8 tournaments including 5 of last 6
2. Earnings of $9,455,566 (new record)
3. Became #1 Player in the World
4. Soon to be player of the year
Obviously Vijay is #1 in scoring and greens in regulation, but numbers I found interesting were Vijay is 145th in driving accuracy and 133rd in putts per round. I did not realize that his driving or putting ranked so poorly. 2004 stats
Vijay Singh hasn't made this much noise since he made the comments about Annika Sorenstam playing at the Colonial. And even now, it's not like he's really making any noise. He just practices, plays and wins. Doesn't say more than a few words, ever.
I wonder if Vijay Singh really did cheat on the Asian Tour. For much of his career Vijay was known as the guy banned from the Asian Tour for turning in a counterfeit scorecard.
If the Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren breakup rumor is true, I think now would be a good time for Vijay to make his move. I hear she only likes golfers that can say they're number one.
They don't call Vijay a P-I-M-P for nothing. You know what they say about those silent ones.
Speaking of silent ones, Vijay is also known for ripping a good one at least a few times per round.
Let's review Vijay's year
1. Won 8 tournaments including 5 of last 6
2. Earnings of $9,455,566 (new record)
3. Became #1 Player in the World
4. Soon to be player of the year
Obviously Vijay is #1 in scoring and greens in regulation, but numbers I found interesting were Vijay is 145th in driving accuracy and 133rd in putts per round. I did not realize that his driving or putting ranked so poorly. 2004 stats
Vijay Singh hasn't made this much noise since he made the comments about Annika Sorenstam playing at the Colonial. And even now, it's not like he's really making any noise. He just practices, plays and wins. Doesn't say more than a few words, ever.
I wonder if Vijay Singh really did cheat on the Asian Tour. For much of his career Vijay was known as the guy banned from the Asian Tour for turning in a counterfeit scorecard.
If the Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren breakup rumor is true, I think now would be a good time for Vijay to make his move. I hear she only likes golfers that can say they're number one.
They don't call Vijay a P-I-M-P for nothing. You know what they say about those silent ones.
Speaking of silent ones, Vijay is also known for ripping a good one at least a few times per round.
September 27, 2004
Florida Blow Me Tour
These damn hurricanes have inspired me to make some hurricane gear.
Check out this: Florida's 2004 "Blow Me" Tour shirt.
View larger Blow Me logo
How about a Hurricane Xing thong for the Mrs?
(For women only!)
View larger Hurricane Xing logo
Check out all of No Three Putts official hurricane gear at: Florida Hurricanes 2004
Check out this: Florida's 2004 "Blow Me" Tour shirt.
View larger Blow Me logo
How about a Hurricane Xing thong for the Mrs?
(For women only!)
View larger Hurricane Xing logo
Check out all of No Three Putts official hurricane gear at: Florida Hurricanes 2004
September 25, 2004
NoThreePutts, Marketing Guru
Although Hurricane Jeanne is a horrible act of Mother Nature, No Three Putts thought he'd take advantage of an opportunity. The opportunity to market No Three Putts. These big ugly boards on the front of my house now tell my neighbors about No Three Putts and let them know that although I'm bracing for this damn hurricane, I'm still thinking GOLF.
Check out No Three Putts Official "Blow Me" Hurricane Gear
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
